


Blue Azaleas In Your Eyes

by CoolCacti03



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Not Beta Read, Romance, Sad Victor Nikiforov, Self-Doubt, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, The oc is only mentioned, Trope Subversion/Inversion, not for long though, only thought of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-15
Updated: 2018-03-15
Packaged: 2019-03-31 20:45:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13982997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoolCacti03/pseuds/CoolCacti03
Summary: Victor Nikiforov is familiar with that comfortably numb sensation, the fake-cheery smiles he mastered so long ago.. However, the frigid all-encompassing fear that accompanies this unshakable cold is unbearable.Perhaps it’s because he became acquainted with how much warmth life can hold.*****Set in a universe where soulmates are marked by having the same tattoo on their bodies in the same place. When you meet, the mark tingles and changes colors.Or the soul mate fic where Yuuri and Victor are not soulmates.





	Blue Azaleas In Your Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, I really like the concepts that come from this trope. However, I will warn you that this is a subversion of a trope fic. The 'self-harm thoughts' tagged is only briefly mention.
> 
> Also, sorry for any grammar or spelling mistakes.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.

He’s too upset to cry. Presently he is experiencing one of those rare and exceptional moments in life where it’s too painful to actually feel- instead he sits quietly on his bedroom floor staring blankly at these white walls.

Victor Nikiforov is familiar with that comfortably numb sensation, the fake-cheery smiles he mastered so long ago.. However, the frigid all-encompassing fear that accompanies this unshakable cold is unbearable.

Perhaps it’s because he became acquainted with how much warmth life can hold. Afterall, he had Yuuri once. Who was so bright, so warm- he rivaled the sun itself. You can’t go back from that. 

Once you have known a person, loved them in such a capacity- loneliness is not an option anymore.

But what does he have now? Nothing. Maybe he never really had Yuuri in the first place. 

The thorned roses on his hip, peeking through his old, worn grey sweatpants are glaring at him. He feels so itchy, uncomfortable like he’s not even comfortable in his own skin.

He hates these roses. He hates what they signify. He just hates them.

. Still, despite the fact he never gave a single fuck about soulmates, destiny or fate- he can’t help but yearn for a universe where he and Yuuri were supposed to be together- could be together.

It’s 2 AM, his thoughts are filled only with Yuuri- Yuuri- Yuuri...

It’s getting quite chilly in their apartment- it's October after all. Victor doesn’t move to get warmer clothing or turn on the heat though. He can’t bring himself to care.

He knew this time would come. He just hoped it would not be so soon. 

Yuuri, who always called if he would be even five minutes late, did not come home tonight.

It could only mean one thing, that vague text: “Something came up. I’ll explain later.” 

It meant that Yuuri had met his soulmate, “perfect match.” And… he would leave Victor.

Was it not just two years ago when they first met?

It was an instantaneous connection, for Victor at least. The brunette boy had stumbled right into Victor’s arm in their universities cafeteria-right into Victor’s heart as well.

He is still a little embarrassed about the first thing he said to Yuri: “I don’t feel a tingling sensation on my hip, but I have the strangest feeling I shouldn’t let you go.”

Yuuri, embarrassed, as he had literally tripped and fallen into a stranger's arms merely blushed.

Muttering as well: “Uhh, well, I ...I am so sor-”

“It was a pleasure. An angel doesn’t fall into your arms every day.”

Victor would cringe at those ridiculous pickup lines he used. What could Yuuri have ever seen in him? Still, it was simply just what Victor had felt at the time.

That very same day he took Yuuri out on their first date.

Two weeks later they announced to their family and friends they were dating.

Three months later, during one of their lazy Sundays together- Victor realized there would never be anyone else for him.

He was sick with a nasty cold but Yuuri insisted on coming over and making him soup. It was quite an ordinary Sunday, really. Nothing spectacular or overly romantic occurred. Simply, Victor who would, admittedly, complain and whine about the slightest papercut- did not mind one bit being horribly sick- as long as Yuuri was with him.

Six months ago they had moved in together, after dating for well over a year. Perhaps it seemed rushed, especially considering they were not “soulmates.” But it just made sense.

Everything made sense when it came to Yuuri and him.

Victor graduated, already starting his internship at a prestigious law firm while Yuuri finished up his last year at college. The apartment Victor had leased was the perfect distance between his work and Yuuri’s school. They would save money living together. Besides that, it would not have been home to Victor if Yuuri was not there with him.

Granted, his friend Mila had asked him a few weeks before the big move about his and Yuuri’s long-term plans.

Most people date around before meeting their fated. It was natural.

But serious relationships- moving in together. That was unheard of.

She had asked over coffee in their favorite cafe, “Victor” with a certain gravity, “What are you doing?”

Victor knew what she meant but decided to give her the chance to drop it.

“What do you mean?”

She stirred her drink, “With Yuri? What are you doing? ...Both of your hearts will be broken. Someone, probably both of you, will end up seriously hurt in the end.”

Victor stared icily at her, he was probably a little harsh considering Mila was just worried about him. 

Still, he remembers his sharp words as clear as ever: “I know precisely what I am doing. Yuuri is it. I don’t care about soulmates. I choose him.”

The redhead remains silent for a while until replying softly: “Yes, I know Victor. But will he chose you?”

She was right- in the end. Victor is sitting here alone because Yuuri was probably, at this moment, starting the rest of his life with another.

Victor’s red rose displayed prominently on his hip is a glaring reminder of this.

He had met his soulmate, a perfectly fine person all the way back in high school.

But there was no special connection, spark. He knew he could never love them. So he left his small hometown and his soulmate behind. After meeting Yuri- he never looked back, not once.

Yuuri had yet to meet his soulmate. Even in the time, they have been together, they only once spoke about soulmates about sixth months into their relationship.

Yuuri was the one to bring it up.

In his nervously cute sort of way, fidgeting with his glasses, he asked Victor out of the blue one night: “Victor, wh..what will...have you met your soulmate?”

Victor, surprised, set down his book and replied with one word: “yes.”

A strange silence fluttered in the space between them.

Until Victor finally spoke again: “I could never love them. So, I never pursued anything.”

Yuuri, looked down quietly at the hands folded in his lap, saying as if to himself: “okay.”

At that time, Yuuri’s mark, a bundle of Azaleas, was still a grey color.

Next time they meet, probably for the last time if Victor is being honest with himself, they will undoubtedly be another color.

His phone is ringing.

Chris had called a few times but Victor ignored his best friend. He must have known something, maybe Yuuri had already spoken to Chris.

Yuuri is so kind like that. He was probably worried about Victor and asked Chris to check in with him. 

But he did not want to talk to anyone right now. Usually, when he felt like this, the only person he could speak to was…

*****

Dawn filters in through their cheap curtains. It must be morning. Victor wouldn’t know, as he had spent the entire night awake- seemingly lost in his own stagnant state.

Thinking about everything and nothing and whatever lies between that.

He hears the lock jingle as someone enters their apartment.

Footsteps are approaching him, growing closer to his crumpled figure on the ground.

“Victor?”

The silver-haired man refuses to look up. He has not cried yet, but undoubtedly seeing his beloved would set off (embarrassing) waterworks.

“Victor, it’s freezing in here. Please get up.” 

His kind boyfriend, well ex he supposes, helps him up and wraps one of their comforters around him.

“Victor, what-”

“You met them. Didn’t you, Yuuri?”

Yuri adjusts his glasses, nervously.

“Yes.”

Victor can’t help it when his eyes scour over Yuuri’s body. Those bright blue azaleas come within his sight of vision. The coloring is beautiful. Of course they would be, after all, they are apart of Yuuri. No part of Yuuri could ever be ugly.

Victor hates himself at this moment for hating the pretty flowers. For hating the person, probably a good person- better than him, who will take Yuuri away.

“I understand, Yuuri. It’s okay. I know I’m strange. I know things are supposed to be a certain way but I love you. I won’t ever apologize for that. Just. Please. I-”

He can’t continue. The tears have already started, horrible retched sounding dry heaves resonate throughout the room. He expects to hear footsteps walking away.

Instead, he’s engulfed in a hug.

He tries to push Yuri away. If he’s gonna leave- do it now. Don’t let hope fester, it will only hurt more, if that's even possible, in the end.

“No Victor. Please, just listen. I said no! I said no.”

Victor finally looks into the doey brown eyes he’s always equated with warmth.

“What, what are you-”

“His name is Desmond. We met at the student guidance office. He’s a transfer. We went out to a cafe to talk. Talk only. He asked for my number but I said no. Thinking back I was probably actually quite rude. Maybe I -”

“What!?!”

Yuuri’s gentle fingers wipe away the remnants of Victor’s tears.

“I said no. I told him that I had a serious boyfriend- one whom I loved very much. He asked me to take his number just in case, for ‘a rainy day.’ I had to decline. I told him I’d never need it.”

Victor can’t believe what he’s heard. Perhaps he had fallen asleep and this was simply a dream.

Except Yuuri is smiling at him now. Such a smile could never be fake. It’s too god damn radiant.

“You said no?”

“Yes. Always. It will always be you.”

Victor knows what Yuuri means. Despite not being a believer in this whole fate thing- Victor can’t help but think that in whatever time, age, or universe- he and Yuuri would always find each other.

That in every place or time where they both might exist, they would be together. Always.

It’s such a silly notion, really. Perhaps, he’s just too much of a romantic but deep down he can’t help but think it’s true. 

Yuri clasps his trembling hands. 

“I should not have left you alone Vitya, you tend to think the worst things at times. And that’s coming from me.” 

Victor laughs, “but why? Why did Chris leave like fifteen voice messages on my phone? I thought, well, you told him you were gonna leave me.”

Yuuri blushes and stutters: “Uhh, no...no reason.”

Victor resorts to pleading, “But Yuuuuuri. Come one? What is it?Tell me!”

Quickly, Yuuri gushes, “Chris helped pick out the rings. He knew I was planning to well- uh.’

In his hands appears a small golden band, a matching one remains in Yuuri’s palm.

“I knew it was you. From the day you literally swept me off my feet. I was afraid- well afraid you’d leave me one day for your soulmate. You never wanted to talk about it, after all. And well, I know-”

Yuri is rambling. He always rambles when he is anxious.

So, instead of stopping the barrage verbally, he simply kisses the other boy instead.

‘Yes.’

******

They are lying in bed, it’s one of those lazy Sundays.

Golden band gleaming on his hand, he is tracing Yuuri’s blue Azaleas. 

“You know, after we got together, I sort of hated the roses on my hip. I wished I could burn them off my skin.”

Yuri grabs his hand, concern glittering his eyes: “Victor? How could you think such a thing? Please don’t ever consider that again. You should not hate apart of yourself. Promise me you’ll never do such a thing.”

Instead of replying, Victor removes his hands from Yuuri’s grasp and strokes the other’s cheek.

“What about you?,” Victor gestures towards Yuuri’s own mark.

Yuuri shyly looks away, “Well, at first they scared me. I thought, well, my mark reminded me that you might leave one day. But now I sort of like it. I mean how could I ever hate them? They are the same color as your eyes.”

Victor is blushing crimson. How could Yuri say that so earnestly?

Still, it doesn’t matter. They may not be marked as one another’s on their skin. But sometimes love, especially one like this, transcends such superficial things. 

Victor likes to think that this, well -this is written in the essence of their souls and carved deep in their bones.


End file.
